Love advice from Dr. No Love Degree!

To me its so cliche when you hear brides say "I knew he was going to be the one." Yea right. Its impossible to know if someone is going to be the one. I think its better to say " I knew he was going to be special and unique" I feel that way for my hub, that clarity in my mind came one night and I knew this maybe the big it for me. It wasn't love at first sight for us.(Which was kind of refreshing, since I normally crush hard in my relationships. I later learned that crushing was a bad sign for me. Its like shaking a soda can and then opening it up. Its a big rush but nothing meaningful left. Not enough meaning to have a lasting relationship) I can say that we have very different ways of doing things but have very strong core beliefs. Which to me is important in a relationship. I'm like "You say yada and I say yada as long as we are one the same page" Sometimes we drive each other nuts...most times we drive each other nuts.It takes alot of work. However, we normally come to the ultimate decision together. Most of my friends ask me,"what can I do to have a strong relationship?" or "why don't guys take me seriously?" or "Why do I get so jealous?" or etc. Well I'm not perfect but here is what I have to say. I hope it helps people. My advice for any relationship are: 1.To not sweat the small things. Who cares if you like polka dots and he/she hates them. 2. Compromise and figure out ways to keep both of you happy. 3. Have open communication even when it hurts. Some times there isn't a way to say something nicely. However, I rather have my partner say than hide it. And vice versa. Hiding leads to dishonesty and dishonesty leads to anger. 4. Know your core beliefs and expectations: These are things that you can not live without. Its like air for your soul. Your partner should mirror or at least acknowledge and respect those beliefs. 5. Know when enough is enough: its good to have an exit strategy and know when its time to part ways. To many times girls become beggars in their own relationships. We beg to be treated right, we beg for companionship and we beg to stay in a relationship. I have done it before but no longer. It is what gives you self respect in your relationship. Its not a threat device like " If you don't give me a pony, I'm leaving you!" but its a "I know my worth but you don't so I leave." I learned that from Kimora Lee Simmons' book and Isaac Sykes. 6. Show Love to get Love: Smiles bring smiles and love equals love. No one wants a zombie for a mate. 7. Know when to back down: Women are so use to fighting. We have a fighting spirit. We have to be tough at our jobs and to the outside world. However in our relationships, it shouldn't feel like a battle. Part of that is knowing when to back down. There isn't any good to a I'm always right contest. 8. Know your place: This isn't what some ladies may think. Knowing your place isn't about being a servant to your partner but its about knowing your place in the life of your partner. Its about jealousy. Its very interesting how you can never find a date until you are in a relationship. Well, your partner is probably seeing the same coincidence. Before you boil in hate. Stop and think is a cheater worthy of your love. The point is that you cant be with your partner 24/7 and it isn't your job to intimidate every lady/man who winks at your partner. Its your partners job. You must know your place as your lover's love, you have the right to be the only one/whatever and your mate must respect that right.Any questions read rule 5. 9. Be ready to work: All relationships take work, prayer, more work and wisdom. There isn't a ready made relationship, it takes time to build something beautiful. If you cant put the effort into a relationship then its best to read rule 5. 10. Have a tough skin: There are people on this Earth that are miserable. Just miserable and they can be family, friends or strangers. These folks have one job to bring problems into your space. They can be permanent bullies or just moody folks but they will come and you will have to deal with them. Its best to be kind and keep on moving since they like confrontation. So there you have it....I'm not a love guru but here is what works for me. love ya!